The Obama Administration has announced a new Cash for Geezers program. Every American family will be eligible for a $4,500 rebate for turning in their old entitlement-guzzling grandparents to a hospice program. The hospice dealers will have two days to dispose of the old models, so they will never again pollute the environment by emitting a steady stream of CO2 as they exhale. This new program will help combat global warming, stimulate the economy, and reduce the federal deficit. Truly a win-win-win program.